It should have been the happiest day of my life, and it was, until my visitor arrived. I was standing in the hallway, in one trembling hand was my phone, in the other the pregnancy test proving our fifth IVF attempt had been successful. Tears were running down my face as the doorbell rang. I stared at the front door; this was not supposed to happen. I put the objects down and wiped my face, to deal with the caller quickly and get back to telling James our news. I opened the door.
"Hi, Jenny, how's things?"
"Rob, what are you doing ... I mean, what a surprise, how are you?"
"I'm okay, may I come in?"
"It's not a great time, Rob I have ..."
"Please, it's important."
I stepped back and allowed my ex boyfriend in. "It's been years."
He smiled, "too long." His face was tanned but pale with dark rings around his eyes. Clothes creased and battered brief case, he looked as if he had been travelling hard.
"Come through to the kitchen, I'll put the kettle on, but really I have things I must get on with."
"I understand. I guess James wouldn't be too happy with me turning up like this."
I stiffened as I thought of James and the phone call. "It is a little inconvenient."
"I'll get straight to it then, no don't bother about the drink. I'm in trouble, Jenny." He slumped on a stool and stared at his case. "I shouldn't have brought it here, but I don't know what else to do."
I groaned, a little too loudly. "Rob, I have a good life now, I don't want to be part of one of your ..."
"I'm sorry, but it's important. The world needs to know."
"Know what?" I crossed my arms.
"I work ... used to work, for an insurance company. Seconded to a working group to assess the likely costs of climate change around the world." He looked up at me. "Human costs."
I unfolded my arms and slid onto the stool opposite. "Go on."
"It was for the oil and gas industry, looking for indemnity against future lawsuits. Initially it was about property damage but the computer models hinted at something far worse. Something I just couldn't ignore."
I checked my watch. "I'm sure you found some horrendous stuff, but you're not going to ruin my day by laying it on me, if you don't mind."
"I have no one else."
"Go to your firm, tell them about it." I could feel my face colouring up.
"I did, they disowned me, said they never even knew me, to my face!"
I sat back. "that's weird."
"Then there was the car accident, run off the road by a hit and run. My house has been ransacked, they've people watching my parents house"
"What? No, you're kidding. You"re making it up."
"I'm not, Jenny, I'm deadly serious."
"What kind of crap have you dredged up? Who are these people anyway?"
"It's the oil industry. I don't know who, but they want me gone."
I stood up. "I'm not sure I want you here. Can you ..."
Rob leapt to his feet facing me. "You have to help." He gripped both my hands. "It's important."
I pulled my hands away. "I don't care, I … I have a fam." I stopped myself, I didn't want Rob to be the first one to know. "I have my life here with James. You need to leave." I watched his face drop, the cogs whirring in his head, I think he knew what I had almost said and it caused him pain. "Rob, you need to move on." He was shaking his head. I continued, "I'm not so sure what you're saying is real or some kind of …"
He was staring at me. "Some kind of what? Do you think I'm making this up for some sympathy? Jenny, get over yourself."
"You really need to go now." I pointed to the door.
"Okay, okay, I'm going." But he didn't move.
"Well?"
He stared at the floor. "The computers were crunching the numbers. We had three mainframes working on it, the results coming out were off the scale, so we rechecked the data. All the inputs were correct but the computers were also factoring in human losses." Now he looked me in the eyes. "Jenny, they predicted what would happen to a child born today."
For a second, I swear his eyes darted to my belly. I took an uncertain step back to the kitchen stool. I knew Rob well, gone out with him for four years until he dumped me in a pile of clothes and tears. So yes, he was a bit of a fantasist but a bloody perceptive one.
"Tell me."
"No." He opened his briefcase and searched around until pulling out a small memory stick. "If anything happens to me, upload this to Wikileaks. But do it anonymously, from a library or cafe."
"Tell me, I need to know."
"Do you? And what about ruining your day? Here take it." He held out the stick and we locked eyes again.
I snatched it from him. "Now go, and, Rob."
"Yes?"
"Be careful."
"I will I assure you. And, Jenny."
"Yes Rob?"
"Don't look at it." He nodded at the small lump of plastic in my hand.
He left without another word and I sat in the kitchen with the memory stick in one hand and my mobile in the other. I was shaking and my mind flitted from Rob's words, to James, the pregnancy test and back to Rob. I needed a drink but mustn't.
I started dialling James's number but before I got to the last digit, I stopped. I simply wouldn't be able to hide the dread, restless in my soul. I took a deep breath and walked over to the laptop. It woke with a cheerful ping and an eager bing-bong when I inserted the stick. There were lots of files and I eased into the chair, unsure if I had the necessary patience until my heart jumped at the words; Human Impacts of Ecological Collapse in a 4 Degree World. I opened it and read the first line: "The chart below presents the percentage mortality probabilities at age 50, of a child born in 2019, as defined by current knowledge." I skipped the rest of the words to find the chart and the column labelled, "Northern Europe and North America". The coloured bars informed me: "Starvation = 38%, violence = 22%, disease = 17%, heat = 9%, extreme weather event = 7%, Hydrogen Sulfide = 2%, pre-existing conditions = 2%, suicide/other = 2.5%, survival = 0.5%.
Everything became a blur. I slipped off the chair and opened James's drinks cabinet, pouring myself a large whiskey. I took a gulp and held my phone up to my eyes, trying to see the numbers. I called James.
"We need to talk."
